Familiar territory

Hey kiddo,

How was your weekend? I hope it was better than mine. Yesterday I went to Pathmark (the one in Elmwood Park where we bought the Tampico ice pops that you loved!) to buy a couple of groceries. I was on the phone with Michael at the time, he's going through some stuff with his boy so he asked me to come over to his house since he lives nearby.

Just as I was getting on Route 4, I told Michael I might have to drop the phone because the cops were such assholes in Elmwood Park. Not even two minutes later, I GOT PULLED OVER! The son-of-a-bitch gave me a ticket, and my court date (should I decide to contest, which I won't) is on my birthday. Happy Birthday to me!

Michael felt really bad about it, and he wants to pay the ticket. I just might let him.

I reminded him casually that evening about Laura's (now known as Precinct) and he jumped at the idea of going with me, even though I didn't have that great of a night the last time I went with René and met up with Pete and Binicio. When we got there, it was empty but it started to pick up after midnight. It was fun, we danced a lot and met a nice Mexican guy named Juan. He was hitting on me a little but the last thing I wanna do right now is get with someone else when I'm not even halfway over you yet.

Michael and I got really, really drunk and after the club closed, we went back to his house. On the drive, I had a weak moment and started crying because I was thinking of you. I had made it a good 4 days without shedding a single tear, but the alcohol opened up the floodgates.

Michael took pity on me and invited me to come back inside but I didn't want to. He said, "Come inside, I'll make you feel better," and even in my drunken state I knew exactly what he meant. I was suddenly transported back to seven months ago when he and I met and I knew nothing good would come of it if I went inside with him. It wasn't that I was afraid of any sort of feelings for him because I know for sure they're dead -- thanks to you -- but he has a man, and it's not right; and the only reason I would kiss him or touch him would be to help forget about you, even if it was just for a few moments.

Well, I went inside, and it was strange because I knew he was drunk, but it almost seemed like he wasn't. "Everything that happens tonight never happened, right?" he asked me. It felt weird to touch him again in that way, and it felt even more strange kissing him. I still can't believe I did it.

I'm sorry. I have no reason to apologize to you because who knows what you're doing at this moment? For all I know, you've already moved on and introduced someone new to your family. I wonder if any of them ask about me the way I still have people asking about you.

Why did you do this to me, you fool? Keep your heart on hold for me.

-- Luis